OD & Change Management Consultant (Human Capital Innovations); Professor, Woodbury School of Business (UVU), Social Impact & Innovation Guru.

I recently started a new series exploring the five characteristics of highly impactful leaders, with the first two characteristics centered around practicing emotional agility and creating a clear meaning and purpose. Today, I’ll be discussing another characteristic of highly impactful leaders: authentically caring.

Leaders Who Care

This past week, as I reflected on the many leaders in my life, I was somewhat saddened to realize that I had to go all the way back to my teenage years to identify a leader who I felt genuinely cared for me and wanted to support me, who accepted me as I am, with no agenda. When interacting with this individual, there was no expectation of reciprocity, no strings attached. This person just sincerely wanted to be there for me and to be a part of my journey. As a result, I felt safe and valued, and I knew I would do just about anything for this leader — not out a sense of fear or obligation, but out of a sense of fierce loyalty and commitment. They cared about me and wanted me to be successful, and I cared about them and wanted to return the favor.

I don’t mean to suggest that I don’t have people in my life who sincerely care about me. I absolutely do and count myself as richly blessed for the many meaningful relationships I enjoy, both in my personal and professional life. But the truth is that everyone is busy, and we all have our own stuff we are dealing with. Life is messy, and because we are so easily distracted and sucked into our own worlds, it can be hard to really be there for another person, despite our best intentions. But it is possible.

Why Is Authentically Caring An Essential In Leadership?

I suspect we have all experienced that authority leader who said they cared and wanted to support us but then failed to follow through. Sometimes a leader will say the right things but then seemingly stab you in the back or throw you under the boss, all while smiling at you and saying they care. While there are many reasons for this (including that some people are just manipulative jerks), I believe most of us try to be good to those around us. We just often fall short in a variety of ways, due to many complex reasons (which we won’t go into here). But the bottom line is that we usually can smell insincerity a mile away, and when a leader fails to demonstrate authentic caring for their people, they erode their trust and influence — the building blocks of sustainable leadership.

It has been my experience that most of the leaders in my adult life, while usually well-meaning, far too often fail to demonstrate their caring and concern in consistent, authentic ways. Perhaps I am not as naïve as I once was, or perhaps I have grown cynical in my old age. But it seems leaders usually get pulled in many directions, trying to balance strategic priorities with the organizational politics at play. While this is understandable, it often results in a sense of inauthenticity. When that occurs, a leader (whether they realize it or not) is trading in their valuable loyalty and commitment leadership currency for a degraded and corrupted fear and compliance currency, with greatly diminished value and little staying power.

Here’s How To Demonstrate You Authentically Care

It is one thing to conceptually understand the importance of authentically caring; it is another thing entirely to actually become a leader who authentically cares. Intention is not enough. The highly impactful leader can’t just talk the talk; they must walk the walk and establish patterns of behavior and personal characteristics that will consistently demonstrate sincere care and concern for their people. Some of these behaviors and characteristics include:

Showing Sincere And Generous Gratitude: The leader who genuinely cares needs to learn to never suppress a generous thought. Regularly share substantive, constructive feedback, and compliment your people on a daily basis. Get into the habit of expressing sincere and generous gratitude to your people.

Creating A Speak-Up Culture: If we want our people to feel that we genuinely care for them, we have to create a safe space where they can share their thoughts and feelings, even sharing dissenting points of view at times. This level of psychological safety engenders trust and will help your people to feel your sincerity.

Listening To Understand: After creating an environment where our people can speak up, we need to genuinely listen, without an agenda. Our goal needs to be to fully understand where they are coming from and then use that feedback to improve policies, processes and procedures to break down negative systems and improve the employee experience for all.

Developing Your People: Developing our people is the top responsibility of any leader and the quickest way we can demonstrate that we value them. Making coaching and mentoring a central part of your role.

Becoming A Servant Leader: We can only demonstrate genuine caring for our people when we first prioritize their needs. We must be willing to roll up our sleeves and work alongside them. When we don’t elevate ourselves above our people, we show we care.

Conclusion

Authentically caring is an essential part of what it means to be a highly impactful leader. Showing sincere and generous gratitude, creating a speak-up culture, actively listening to understand, being genuinely committed to developing your people and becoming a servant leader will help you to develop deeper trust and demonstrate that you sincerely care. Authenticity is the foundation of any meaningful and sustainable relationship, and showing you care will open the way for greater influence within your team and organization.

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